Saving someone from suicide can begin with a conversation. That’s something all of us can do. You don’t need to be a trained medical professional to notice that someone is struggling and to show concern. Every one of us can be a “first responder” by being aware and compassionate.
Notice that someone is struggling and possibly suicidal? Start a conversation by:
➾ Being sensitive and respecting the need for privacy: Approach and talk in a private setting
➾ Being yourself: Tell the person what you’ve noticed and use words that make sense given your relationship. Be honest and non-judgmental.
➾ Being direct: Ask the person if they are having suicidal thoughts and be sure to give them a chance to talk. Be a listener; it’s not your job to fix the situation
➾ Showing concern and support: Acknowledge the despair they are feeling and don’t minimize their pain.
➾ Being aware that you may have to break their confidentiality: You may need to break their confidentiality if it’s to keep the person safe.
➾ Helping to connect them with professional help: Sometimes a suicidal person doesn’t believe they can be helped.
Phrases to Get You Started:
- “I feel like you haven’t been yourself lately. I am concerned about you. Can we talk?”
- “I want to respect your privacy, but I’m worried about you.”
- “I know you’ve been having a tough time recently. Can you share what has been going on?”
- “I really care about you and I can tell something is wrong. Can you tell me how I can help?”
Phrases to Keep the Conversation Productive:
- “How long have you felt like this?”
- “Have you been feeling hopeless?”
- “How are you coping with what has been going on in your life?”
- “You are not alone with this. I’m here for you.”
- “I may not know exactly how you feel, but you matter to me and I want to help.”
- “Can you think of anything I could do to help you?”
- “I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but you won’t always feel like this. Things will change.”
- “Have you thought about getting help?”
- “I want to call someone to help us.”
If you believe someone is prepared to act on their suicidal thoughts, call for help, whether it’s 911, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, BHS, a coworker or a friend or relative. Take the person to an emergency room if he/she can be safely transported. Do not leave the person alone!